i am a very superstitious person. i wear red during exams; i like the number 8; those kind of things. and now, magical curls. whenever i sleep on my braided hair, the next day ken-kun will text me out of the blue. and it happen today for the third time. this morning he sent me a message about nutrients. it is very work related but it made me smile. i have magical curls!! now, i don't want to use all the mojo of my curls. im contemplating on whether to use it or not in saigon. ik not sure if i look normal or weird with really wavy hair.
i have been wanting to message him about my scheduled stop over in saigon. i am at a loss for words on how to ask him again (there was a plan that me, ken-kun, and 2 others are going to meet up in saigon for a little R&R but shit happens 1 needs to extend and the plan became shitty) if he likes to join us in saigon. i wanted it to be really natural and not feel like some hormonally pumped 16y.o. this afternoon, i sent him a message about my schedule and if he wants to join me in meeting with masu(let us call colleague 1 as masu...his smile is infectious like masu). then he replied yes to it. i am overthinking it...A LOT. i want to have fun and enjoy his company but i feel like i will just float that day. it is still about 10 days from now but i can't help thinkig about it. yes, i am excited. and yes, i feel like im going to die...
i should sign out now. sleepy. i just might dream about him...)^o^()^o^( fuuuuuuu~
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
i have nothig much to say but i am really hugry now...
i seem to have more down time now compared to the last couple of weeks...so hopefully,i can go back to my subbing projects...
in a really emoshity mode,i want to go home now...i can feel my old body aching under the stress.
last shout for ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
sesunova, がんばて くださいね。お縁します！
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
- Location:Vietnam, Yên Lãng
i still like him.
i am still thinking of him.
but for the sake of my sanity, i need to convince myself that i don't like him.
the 16 yo lost the fight. the 50yo holds the reins again. where is the 24yo? she is still reading the messages that made her doki-doki.
goodluck to myself.
as they say...just roll with the heavenly hammers and huge paper fans being thrown/whacked at you.
oyasumi.
I consider myself as a selective recluse. Depending on the situation and the people involved I would rather lock-up in my room than set foot on the outside world. Just like today. The hotel that I am staying in sucks at setting up a wireless network for the hotel. I am persistently routed to other ip address hence virtually blocking me from the internet. To be able to monitor my project site, I need the internet to access it. This predicament causes me to stay in the lobby for almost 3 hours and having to endure the noise and the smoke of the locals (among the usual vices, alcohol and cigarettes, cigarettes throw me off more. I get nauseated and my eyes become teary and I turn into a really cranky creature.). I am really uncomfortable with my surroundings. I just hope the staff of the hotel and figure out how not to choke the internet for the whole province.
*FYI: The gateway for the whole province of Nghe An is only 198.162.1.1. This province only has 1 internet provider and bloody company provided only ONE gateway!! FML.
I might be pushed into buying a portable internet-sim (similar to smart-bro) within the next few weeks.
FML.
I am wrapped around the idea of loving that place. I am afraid if that the real thing hits me it will hit me hard in the face.
at this times, my most evil character comes out. i become this big evil green selfish apathetic bastard. and yes, this want of mine to buy yamapi stuff is eating me inside! i feel like when one of my siblings stupidly decides to use their allowance to party and drink...i would lash out! really lash out!!! i would be this evil person in front of them. i hate this eating feeling...i want to take my mind of it..but nothing is helping.
i am honestly looking forward to the day that i would be the one deciding on what to do with the money that i earn...haaaaiz...
i had another conversation with my cousin for USA. it was a really nice one. i am starting to look forward to a conversation with her over a few bottles of beer.
------------------------
THERE IS NO FREE INTERNET IN FRANKFURT AIRPORT!!! WTF!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR 5 HOURS!!! THIS IS INSANE!!!
i am back on-site again. i am in the same situation one year ago. we try to start-up this plant however two things are preventing us from proceeding: factory production and wastewater temperature. i am starting to feeling like i am wasting my time here.
^that is all i have from my work rant. my work is interesting on a manly/nerdy level...
what if i told ken that i am fond of him?
what if me and ken stayed in one place for one month straight and i have no other place to hide?
is there a possibility that my image of ken is very far from the real ken?
he has been at the back of my mind for the past few weeks. i want to forget about him or the reason why i am so fond of him (if ever i figure out why i am fond of him in the first place). he does not fade out but sits silently at the back of my mind.
this is not a good pattern for me.
i will try to post something about je next time...stupid ken.
i feel like i am in a total hormonal imbalance mode. damn hormones are not balancing themselves out. it is pretty frustrating feeling all these things and not being able to manage them. hiding them as suppressed fangirl emotions can only work for so long. convincing myself that i am just palpitating from all the coffee that i have been drinking can only work so far before i pass out.
it can be really tiring making sense out of something that has zero reason and nil logic.
how i wish i was back in high school then everything can be easily blamed on puberty...
If only both people maintain their faith in each other...
If only they remained loyal...
If only all the 'best wishes' can be used by the couple in the toughest times..
If only love does not run out...
If only logic and instinct coincide...
If only this new fear in me can be cured and erased...
As of the moment, I am contented with the fleeting imaginations and prolonged doki-doki...
